matters of the heart

As we get older we seem to have more and less of friends, enemies, frienemies, and people you just seem to click with. I think the "wiser" we get the more in tune with personal relationships we have to be. I also think that taking responsibility for our part in situations is mandatory. This isn't grade school anymore and you can't just finger the person next to you and say "I didn't do it". 
I have been told by my ever so honest husband that I cut people off too quickly, I agree. Trust is a HUGE ingredient in the recipe of relationships and even in life. Respect is another quality the general public has thrown out the window along with their Starbuck's straw wrapper.
I am as loyal as a guard dog when it comes to the inner circle of the most important people in my life. With that I respect each an every one of those people... thus the reason why I am so reluctant to let "new" people in to the world I have created for myself and said loved ones. Not saying it in a sense that you can't sit at my lunch table in the cafeteria, just that I am weary and am watching for any red flags.
Cutting people out of the picture who have been disrespectful to myself, friends or family is just my go to, I love deep and I despise deeper. I am admittedly a score keeper in my head, just ask my oh so honest hubs, I am the worst person to argue with...
I am going to try with all my might to not drastically cut people off so easily... expand that circle a little bigger. There is nothing wrong with more love in this world... good times, laughs, and making memories help make this life a better one.  But I think we all need to remember our trust & respect, every day, we give trust and we earn it, respect is a two way street. Be aware of yourself, and be aware of yourself with others... this isn't high school, this is real life, with real people and real problems. Put into this world what you want to get out of it. Being a better friend, spouse and loved one comes from bettering our selves on the daily.
So the next time you meet someone or have a spat with a friend... work on that eat, pray, love part of your self, look at the big picture and proceed with kindness (and caution).

another year

I can honestly say that 30 was great.
I was annoyed and dismissive at first, not wanting to accept or admit that 30 was upon me. Mentioning to my husband's daughter that I just want to stay 29, her effortless and to the point response of.... "it doesn't work like that"... hit home. She was right, at 13, she was totally right.
But being 30 for 30 days on the day of my wedding, I told myself take the bull by the horns and run. I was married, successful, great group of friends, had more money then in my twenties, knowing what I love and what I hate and was my own woman.
Thirty brought me to a realization that I was more aware; aware of my surroundings and myself. I was more settled, and structured.... I'm established as a person. Twenties are great, but being unsure of everything is exhausting... yourself, your friends, the guy you are dating, your job, your future. Laying in bed constantly second guessing your decisions, and feeling as if you are proving yourself every waking moment. No thanks. Not anymore. Thirty should open you with a welcome sign that reads "you are here now, relax, you got this".
With Thirty-one only a few weeks away, I am pretty excited, but, If thirty was this good, should I just stay thirty??? it doesn't work like that, life moves on, and we get older.
So I say to "31" let's do this.